Too Comfortable...

There’s a question I’ve been finding more and more interesting lately:

If you’ve never tried to stop doing it, how do you know you’re in control?

Think about something you do almost every day.
Maybe it’s checking Instagram as soon as you wake up. Picking up your phone whenever you have five free minutes. Telling yourself you’ll watch one episode and ending up watching three. Eating something simply because it’s there.

Control is also being able to say no.

There’s something interesting about habits: with repetition, many things start happening almost automatically. Research shows that some behaviors can become less deliberate the more often we repeat them.

And that makes me wonder:

How many things in your life do you consciously choose, and how many do you simply do because you’re used to doing them?

Because control isn’t only demonstrated by being able to do something.It’s also demonstrated by being able to choose not to.

“Palo al cuerpo”

There’s a phrase my wife’s grandfather used to say very often. Everyone who knew him remembers it:

“Palo al cuerpo.”

It’s a very colloquial expression in Spanish. Literally, it means something like “give the body a push,” but the idea behind it is broader: don’t always look for the easiest option. Push yourself to do what you know is good for you, even when you don’t feel like it.

Over time, I’ve come to think those three words can mean quite a lot.

Sometimes palo al cuerpo means getting up early when you’d rather keep sleeping.

It means making that phone call you’ve been putting off.

Having an uncomfortable conversation.

Keeping a commitment after the initial motivation has worn off.

Not because there’s anything good about suffering for the sake of suffering.
But because not everything that is good for us feels good in the moment.

What really matters usually comes at a cost.

We want to be fit, but we don’t always want to work out.

We want deep relationships, but we don’t always want to have difficult conversations.

We want financial freedom, but putting off something we want to buy now isn’t always easy.

We want a purposeful life, but we often end up filling our time with things that simply entertain us.

And I think there’s something worth remembering here:

What really matters rarely fits entirely within our comfort zone.

Not because we have to live uncomfortably all the time. And not because everything difficult is necessarily good.

But growth almost always requires us to do something we don’t know how to do yet, stick with something when it gets difficult, or give up something we want now for something we value more in the long run.

Perhaps, part of discipline is simply accepting that: some things that matter will require us to do things we don’t feel like doing.

That’s where palo al cuerpo comes back into the picture.
Not as an invitation to punish ourselves, but as a reminder that we don’t always have to do only whatever we feel like doing.

The problem isn’t pleasure.

I don’t think the answer is to live avoiding pleasure either.

Resting. A good meal. Watching a movie. Spending time with friends. Traveling. Having fun.
All of those things are part of a good life.

The problem starts when pleasure stops being something we enjoy and becomes something we need in order to feel okay.

When every moment of boredom has to be filled.

When five minutes of waiting automatically means reaching for the phone.

When a difficult day always ends the same way: shopping, a TV show, food, alcohol, video games, social media, or some other form of instant gratification.

Not because those things are necessarily bad in themselves. They become bad when we stop deciding over them, and they start deciding for us.

It’s not about eliminating pleasure. It’s about paying attention to how our constant pursuit of gratification can gradually shape the way we live.

And here’s another question worth asking:

Is what I’m constantly reaching for helping me grow, or making me more dependent on immediate gratification?

Choosing again.

To me, discipline has less to do with being rigid, extremely productive, or perfectly organized. It has more to do with not losing our ability to choose.

Being able to enjoy something without depending on it.

Being able to tolerate a little boredom.

Being able to do something even when we don’t feel like it.

Being able to have a difficult conversation instead of continuing to avoid it.

Being able to say no.

And perhaps, every now and then, asking ourselves a simple question:

Am I choosing this, or am I simply running on autopilot?

Maybe “palo al cuerpo” is a very colloquial way of putting it.

But behind those three words is something I think is worth remembering:

Not everything that is good for us feels comfortable. And not everything that feels comfortable is good for us.